People of the world.

Spice up your life.

Explanation of spiciness after the spice jump.

There are many different flavors of people in the world; spices, if you will. For example, there are little baby spices, there are the fit sporty spices, the people who hang out in alleyways and are very scary spices, there are posh spices that are married to spices that can “bend it”, and then there are the ginger spices which really make a good pork roast even better.

You may not believe this, but CVS sells spices. Yeah. Look it up, that Cayenne is somewhere in that store. And so is that Baya.

Anyway, I’ve had both good and bad experiences at CVS. Mostly good because of people like Kate who work there. I had a shit ton of shit and she was able to fit it all in one bag. Sure it was double bagged, but that was because she cared about me and my walk to the car and then to my dorm. She even recommended a flavor of Fuze to me. She went past her hourly wages to be the coolest CVS clerk ever. And that means something in my book, guys, because I go to CVS almost every other day. It’s my poor man’s Starbucks addiction. Even though I have that one too. Here is an artist’s rendition of how great Kate is.

I mean, I’m sure that when she takes off that blue polo at the end of the day, she’s ready to fight crime and make sure everyone walks home with a easy-to-handle load of items, right?

And then there’s the one clerk to fuck it all up: Chip. The name says everything, in my opinion. It says that he doesn’t know what Camel Menthol Lights are even when they are sitting out in the open and I am pointing directly to them, it says that he bleaches his hair in the most disgusting way, it says that he probably runs a blog about pointless things no one finds funny or interesting. Here is an artist’s rendition of Chip.

People, if you’re willing to spice up your life with spicy spice, then don’t even think about coming into contact with a spice named Chip.